I have aspergers. No one understands me. I don’t understand them. Many have people have tried to understand me, but their explanations have fallen short. They thought they knew me, but I didn’t know myself.
I was oblivious to things that they thought I was rude about. I didn’t know that I had said the wrong thing. I didn’t know that I had done the wrong thing. I tried to imitate “normal people” with limited success.
I misjudged the people around me and could not understand why I didn’t fit in socially. I was shy, but talked too much. I was ostracized and didn’t care anymore. I needed human contact, but trained myself to accept isolation.
I was clumsy and wasn’t allowed to participate in sports. They gave me a camera and told me to take pictures. I substituted reading books to having friends.
At different times I pushed myself hard and was a service manager, a Sunday school teacher and an estimator/ purchaser. I threw up every morning from stress.
I found out about having aspergers two years ago. Then I found out that I am bipolar. So now I know I have four hard things to live with, dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, aspergers, and bipolar disorder.
I will not give up. I know I have something to give this world and I am persuaded that I can still do it.
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